Hello, friends! Today we're talking college (yikes!) and I have some pro tips that might be different from what you've already heard. Without further ado, here's my college story so far.
I've know for about five years (since the beginning of high school) what I want to do with my life: I want to be an interior designer. Every time I said it, people would look at me and say, "Oh, really? Can you even make a career out of that?" And every time someone doubted me, I wanted to show them that, yes, I could do it, and I was and still am determined to do so. And this, my friends, is Tip #1: Yes you can. You can do anything you set your mind to; don't let people convince you that you can't.
Fast forward three years to my senior year- I've already taken the ACT (the test that tells colleges you're capable of doing their coursework, and also the basis of many scholarships), and learned Tip #2: Do not stress about the ACT, SAT, or any other test you take in preparation for college. Do your best, but know your life doesn't depend on the outcome. Where there's a will, there's a way. I had already filled out my transcript forms, asked for recommendation letters from my teachers, and submitted my applications. Tip #3: Start everything ASAP. Many colleges open applications on August 1st to give prospective students a head start, so take advantage of that, and request your rec letters and transcripts from your school as soon as they become available. You'll save yourself a ton of stress a few months down the road. Then it was decision time. I made my decision early on, and was set in it before most of my classmates. I was feeling calm amid all of their stress, and I felt like I was ready for the next step.
Graduation came and went, and then it was official: I was a college kid. I bought all kinds of stuff for my dorm, had my roommate set, went to orientation... Remember that part where I said I was ready for the next step? Boy oh boy, was I wrong. Even though I live close to my school, I would be using public transportation if I commuted, which would have me on trains and buses for some six hours a day, so I (and my parents) decided I would live on campus. I didn't think this would be a problem, and to say the least, I was wrong again.
Move in day was the most difficult day of my life. I sobbed all day long, and went home the first weekend, only two days after moving in. I sobbed when I had to go back, and sobbed by myself in my room every day that week. I was inconsolable. I've come home every weekend since, and believe me when I say everybody and their mother has told me I can't do that. Tip #4: Do not, under any circumstances, let other people tell you what you're "supposed" to do or what's "best" for you. It is absolutely none of their business. You decide with your parents/guardians what's best for you. As my mom always says, "Everyone else can go piss up a rope."
Now besides my utter hatred for being away from home, I have other reasons for hating school. I feel like, because I'm taking so many core classes, I'm getting nowhere in terms of classes toward my degree; it feels like a waste of my time. Additionally, I don't necessarily love my roommate. I've known her for years, but we're just different people, and it makes living together hard. Really hard. And to top it all off, I have terrible anxiety, so the very idea of going to a party or even sitting in the cafeteria alone makes my breathing shallow and my heart race, which ultimately means I spend my days by myself in the confines of my room. I think of myself as a more severe case, but please note Tip #5: It is perfectly normal to be anxious, not click with people right away, and want to go home. This is a totally new experience, so don't get down on yourself when things don't happen right away. It takes the average college student three months to adjust to college life.
That said, it is absolutely crucial to identify when something is wrong as opposed to just different. Tip #6: Know yourself. Trust me, if something is wrong, you'll know. It's important to identify problems with whomever is helping you through this process. I knew something was wrong that first week, and so did my parents, but they let me feel out college life a bit more before intervening. I knew I hated school, but I'm so ridiculously stubborn that I wanted to stick it out because I didn't want to be a failure or disappoint to my family. I was putting the imaginary expectations of my family before my own well being, and that's a serious problem. We had always discussed alternatives to going away to school, but there's so much pressure to go away that I felt I had no other option. Tip #7: Going away to school is not for everyone. There are so many other options, and not one of them is bad. There is absolutely no shame in or problem with going to community college, commuting to a local school, or getting an online degree. I cannot stress this enough. Do what's best for you, not what others tell you do.
And at one month into my freshman year of college, I've decided to transfer to a college to which I can commute and live at home. I know I'm going to take so much crap from so many people, but I don't care one bit. This past month has been the worst month of my life, and I hate school, which was a key red flag in this decision; I have always loved school, and now I can't stand it. I finally realized I needed to step back and look at what was really important- my own mental health is far more important than the false expectations in my head. As I'm writing this post, it has been twenty-four hours since I made the decision, and the amount of relief and happiness I feel is unreal. I was talking about it with my mom and started crying tears of happiness and relief, and if I didn't know the decision was right before, I did then. I'll admit, I feel bad that I wasted the time and resources of so many, and my last tip isn't mine, but my mom's. Tip #8: Nothing you do while trying to find your path is wasted. Everything you've done is an experience; some you'll learn from, and some will take you down the right path. Never feel bad about that; it's part of your story, and you may not have gotten where you are now if you hadn't been there before.
After all that, I'm happy to say I'll be transferring at the end of this semester, and I couldn't be more excited. Sometimes it's hard to see where you're meant to be, but eventually you'll get there. I promise.
I wish you all the best,
Erin
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