Friend Breakups

Hello friends! It's been a long time since I've talked about a more personal topic, but the whole idea of "friend breakups" has been on my mind lately. I've had several friend breakups, but one sticks out in my mind that I would like to talk about and then offer some advice if any of you are going through the same thing.

The Breakup

My best friend and I were inseparable throughout high school, especially during my last two (and her middle two) years. We were in the same choirs and school shows, so most of our time was spent together; we would get ready for shows at my house, she would come over for dinner if her parents were working late, and we considered each other sisters.

When I graduated, I was terrified that we wouldn't be friends anymore, because I knew (maybe subconsciously at that point) that she wouldn't just pick up her phone and call or text me, and I felt bad bothering her because I knew how busy she would be, and I knew if I ever needed her, my problems wouldn't be relatable because she wouldn't have had experienced them. I was right. I can count on one hand the conversations we had that first semester I was away, and they were all revolving around her needing something from me.

That Christmas, I posted a picture of my cousins and me at a family party, and she commented with "I see how it is". A week later, she went on a school trip, and texted me for the first time in months because she couldn't stand living with her roommate and I was her only option who was removed completely from the situation. She came home, and about a month later, she texted me and that sent me into a panic attack, and I decided enough was enough. I was tired of giving and never receiving, and the thought of her sending me into panic attacks was the last straw for me. I blocked her number and deleted her on all my social media.

And then summer came, and I bumped into her at a hair salon. I was so panicked I couldn't form sentences, which probably should've been the first clue to her that I wasn't okay, and I was trembling as she hugged me and I was trying to catch my breath. She asked me why I wasn't answering her texts, and I made up some lie about my phone being broken. I quickly ran back to my stylist's chair and came back down to normal, but not before she told me to call her. I haven't spoken to her or seen her since, but just the thought of her or people I associate with her sends me panicking still.

Yesterday I came across a letter she wrote me for my graduation, where she said how much I mattered to her, how much I had done for her, made her feel heard and like she belonged in this world and what true friendship was. Part of me found a little bit of closure in that letter, but part of me was still angry and scared and wanted to rip that letter to shreds. It's comforting to know that, at least for a period of time, I was that important to her, but looking back, I don't know that I ever felt the same way. Our friendship was very much a one-way street; I gave everything I had and never got anything in return, never got any of the things she said I gave her. I hate that I spent so much time being naïve and blind, but I guess I spent so much of my life without real friends that I thought I found one and just went with it.

So after all that thinking, I logged out of my Twitter and searched her name (I blocked her so that's how I had to find her again) to see of she ever said anything about me. The most recent tweets were along the lines of "people need to stop saying they'll always be there if they're not going to be" and "still waiting for the call that never came" - the call that I never made after that day at the hair salon. I first thought "Whoa, what weird connected timing." and then, stupidly, I felt guilty. I have no reason to feel guilty about this whole situation, and I know that, but sometimes I have a hard time accepting it. I gave all I had and finally quit when I had no more to give. I have battles going on right now that, if she knew, might make her realize that I have good reason for cutting myself out of her life.

I'm still accepting the fact that I called it off, but I called it of for me, not because I wanted to hurt her or teach her a lesson. I needed to get out before I was drowning in a toxic relationship, and I'm glad I did. I don't know where I would be if I didn't.

My Advice

1. Know when it's time to fight or fly - If you know that, in the grand scheme of things,
    whatever's going on can be resolved, fight for it. If you're finding yourself living in
    fear or panic and in a circle of someone's repeated behavior that is harmful to you, I
    think it's time to call it quits.
2. Do what's best for you - Even if it may hurt the other person, do what you need to do
    for your own health and well-being. If you're going to be happier without them in your
    life, then you need to cut them out. Time will heal you both.
3. Looking back is okay, spying is not - Like me with the letter, sometimes looking back
    on your friendship can be helpful in the healing process. You may find something that
    gives you a bit of closure or brings back a happy memory that helps ease the negative
    image of them in your mind. What's not okay is what I did with Twitter - finding them,
    despite the precautions you took to protect yourself, even just to "check" on them. I
    did this, and it wasn't good for me. It left me feeling guilty and I now feel like I took
    a few steps back on my path of healing from this breakup.
4. Don't live in regret - You did this for you, and you need to remember that. You have to
    be selfish sometimes, and in this situation, being selfish is your only option. You can't
    feel bad about calling it off, or think about the what ifs, because that's only going to
    drag you down.
5. Don't relapse - I had a moment yesterday where I thought of unblocking her number,
    just to see of anything would happen, but I didn't. I know what that would do to me: it
    would bring back the anxiety, the living in fear, and it would drain me all over again.
    Toxic people are like drugs; you may think that just one more text or one more look
    through their Twitter feed won't hurt you, but soon enough, you're addicted again and
    all the progress you've made is lost. You can't let yourself go back. It may not hurt you
    at first, but it always has the potential to destroy you.

I'm sorry for the negative post, but I need to get this out there, mainly for me, but I know it could also really help someone else. If you have any questions, advice for people in a similar situation, or are needing more specific advice, please leave a comment below. As always, please be kind and respectful.

I wish you all the best,
Erin

Sweet Spot: 4 Quick & Easy Meal Ideas

Hello friends! In today's day and age, we're always on the go and looking for something quick. I've gathered my four favorite quick recipes to share with you, all tried and true, and I'll list them in the *approximate* amounts of time they take to make, starting with the quickest one. Also, none of these recipes have exact measurements, because if you're in a rush, who has the time to measure?

• Garlic Noodles (5 minutes)
• Ingredients: Udon (or similar) noodles, low-sodium soy sauce, sesame oil, black pepper, cornstarch, crushed garlic, green onions (scallions)
• Instructions: Boil water in a large pot and cook the pasta according to package directions (mine took 4 minutes). While water is boiling, mix about 1/4 cup soy sauce, 1 tsp. sesame oil, 1 tbsp. cornstarch, and pepper to taste in a measuring cup (to help with estimated measurements). In a hot pan, pour sauce, garlic, and green onion and cook 30 seconds. Add noodles and stir. Enjoy!
• English Muffin Pizzas (7 minutes)
• Ingredients: Whole grain English muffin (halved), sauce, cheese, and toppings of choice (my favorites are pesto, mozzarella, and leftover grilled chicken)
• Instructions: Preheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit. Assemble pizzas on a foil-lined cookie sheet. Bake 5-7 minutes or until warmed. Enjoy!
• Oven Quesadillas (7 minutes)
• Ingredients: Large tortilla, fillings of choice (I like to do hot sauce, some sort of cheese blend, grilled chicken, and green onion // Chihuahua cheese, chorizo, and green onion // scrambled egg, crumbled bacon, some sort of cheese blend, green onion, and hot sauce)
• Instructions: Assemble ingredients on 1/2 of tortilla. Fold other 1/2 over and weave a toothpick through (up then down through both sides of tortilla). Bake 5-7 minutes until warmed through and tortilla is slightly crisp. Enjoy!
• Spinach Artichoke Rice (15-20 minutes)
• Ingredients: Rice pilaf, frozen spinach artichoke dip (Trader Joe's is my favorite)
• Instructions: Prepare rice according to package directions. (If you can find frozen rice pilaf, that will drastically cut down the prep time of this recipe, but I haven't come across any yet.) While rice is cooking, microwave dip according to package directions. Mix desired amount with finished rice (I use about 1/3-1/2 of the TJ's dip for a whole box of rice pilaf). Enjoy!

What are your favorite quick recipes? Tell me in the comments below!

I wish you all the best,
Erin

Unique Names of the Top 1000

Hello friends! A factor that plays into many parents' name choices for their babies is the popularity of the name. Lots of people don't want their child to be one of three or four kids by the same name as their child, but at the same time, don't want to venture to more obscure names that fall beyond the Top 1000. Here are my picks of unique names that I don't hear often (my mom is a teacher, so I have a good idea of what's popular), but are still familiar and usable, all within the Top 1000 and listed by popularity.

Girls

• Nicole - #152 - Nicole is such a classic that I haven't heard on a little one, and has some fun nicknames like Nikki, Cole, and even Lola.
• Vivienne - #233 - I've never met a little girl named Vivienne, and this name is a great option for parents who like the names with unique letters like V, X, and Z.
• Noelle - #250 - Noelle, aside from being beautiful, is a great, unexpected way to get the nicknames Elle or Ellie.
• Rosalie - #266 - Roaslie is a gorgeous alternative to Rose or even other popular flower names.
• Gemma - #269 - Gemma is great if you love names like Ruby and Pearl, or even if you like something similar to Jenna or Gina.
• Cheyenne - #347 - Cheyenne is a lovely, underrated place name that fits right in with popular names like Brooklyn and London.
• Sabrina - #355 - Sabrina is s fun, magical name that is an unexpected way to get the nicknames Bri or Bria.
• Sage - #370 - Sage is a gorgeous nature, word, and virtue name, as well as a wonderful alternative to Paige.
• Aspen - #372 - Like Cheyenne, Aspen is a beautiful place name that fits in with trendier place names.
• Zara - #402 - Zara is a wonderfully edgy alternative to the classic Sarah.
• Thea - #464 - Thea feels a little bit exotic to me, but still has a sweet simplicity that makes it very accessible.
• Eve - #476 - Eve is such a sweet name, but has a sophistication that is unmatched in the name world.
• Remi - #501 - Remi has a European flare to it, but couldn't be easier to say or spell, making it extremely usable.
• Kara - #509 - If you don't like Zara, maybe Kara is more your style. It's simple and sweet, and has the same feel as Sarah without the popularity.
• Liana - #527 - The biggest trend I've seen in girls' names today is the "-ana" name. I've seen every variation in the book, but I've never actually met a Liana, so this will still feel fresh amongst all the other "-anas."
• Colette - #531 - If Nicole isn't your style, Colette may be the next best thing. You can still get fun nicknames like Cole, Lettie, Etta, etc., and Colette just has a bit more to it stylistically.
• Greta - #573 - Greta is a gorgeous, whimsical name that I've never heard on a little girl. This is a great option if you like Grace or even Etta.
• Mira - #586 - We are living is the age of the Celtic names, and I feel like Mira is flying under the radar at the moment. There is a gorgeous Irish song called "Out on the Mira," where they say "MY-rah," but I love the pronunciation "MEE-rah" even more.
• Meredith - #590 - Meredith has that old lady chic feel to it, and while I see that trend rising for boys, I haven't seen it as much for girl, and some of those old lady names are just too good not to use.
• Shiloh - #606 - Shiloh has a distinctly Biblical sound to it, and, like Meredith and the old lady names, this name is too good not to use, especially with Biblical boys' names rising so quickly.
• Maisie - #624 - Maisie, like Mira, is a Celtic name flying under the radar, but I see it rising soon, especially thanks to Maisie Williams of Game of Thrones.
• Esme - #682 - Esme has a vintage, old-world feel to it and is beautiful on its own, but can also lend itself to nicknames like Essie or Ezzie.
• Leona - #683 - Names like Leo and Phoenix are rising for boys, and Leona is a gorgeous yet strong way to nickname a little girl Leo.
• Wren - #712 - Wren is a timeless, sweet name that is rising with the popularity of nature names.
• Livia - #723 - Livia is the easiest way to get the feel of Olivia without the popularity, and still has the adorable nickname Liv built right in.
• Lennox - #740 - Lennox is another name with an edgy sound and X factor, and is also a unique way to get the nicknames Lex or Lexi.
• Naya - #784 - Naya is a great alternative to names like Maya and Mia, and has an exotic flare to it that draws people in.
• Brenna - #795 - Brenna is yet another Celtic name yet to be discovered, and is a wonderful alternative to Brianna.
• Marisol - #842 - Marisol has that ever-popular "mar-" sound, so it's a great alternative to many names, including Mary, Marie, Mariana, and even Mary Kate.
• Ingrid - #957 - Indie is a nickname that's on the rise, and Ingrid is a gorgeous way to get the nickname while still having a sophisticated full name to fall back on.

Boys

• Damian - #116 - Damian is a great alternative to popular names like Daniel and Declan.
• Weston - #120 - Weston has the desirable rare letter quality, and fits right in with other W names like William and Wyatt.
• Bennett - #153 - Bennett is a wonderful alternative to Benjamin, especially if you're looking for another way to get the nickname Ben.
• Zane - #233 - Zane has the cool Z initial, and is a nice spin on other Z names like Zachary and Zander.
• Spencer - #252 - Spencer fits perfectly with the occupational name trend, which is one of the biggest trends in boys' names right now.
• Knox - #258 - Knox has the X factor, but it maintains a simplicity to it that keeps the name very accessible.
• Rhett - #274 - I've never met a little boy named Rhett, but it fits right in with more popular one-syllable names like Luke and Jack.
• Phoenix - #307 - Phoenix is such a cool name, from the X factor to the magical and mythological associations, and there's not really another name like it.
• Nash - #344 - A large part of this list is made up of one-syllable names, but Nash manages to still pack a punch in four little letters.
• Daxton - #380 - Nicknames like Dax, Max, and Pax are very desirable, and Daxton gives a handsome full name to fall back on.
• Keith - #425 - Keith is the perfect combination of the classic Kevin and the trendier Heath, and I definitely see this name rising in the future.
• Jonas - #429 - Jonas is a great alternative the classic John and the Biblical Jonah, and doesn't sacrifice anything in terms of style.
• Scott - #457 - Scott is such a classic, and it fits in with other classics like James, as well as popular names that end in "-tt" like Wyatt and Everett.
• Rhys - #513 - If you don't like Rhett, Rhys may be the name for you. Rhys has a cool look to it, but the classic sound keeps this name grounded.
• Hayes - #539 - Hayes is a surname name that's just waiting to be discovered. It's only a matter of time before this name is ranking near Carter and Easton.
• Oakley - #567 - Oakley is an adorable nature name, and is a great alternative to the popular Owen.
• Lennon - #609 - Beatles fans will love this name, and it's a modern spin on classic names like Leonard and Leon.
• Jagger - #657 - Jagger is another name for music lovers, and this name comes pre-loaded with a cool edge any little boy would love.
• Mack - #661 - Mack is a prefix to many surnames, so it fits that trend perfectly, but I actually love this name as an alternative to Michael, which almost always gets shortened to Mike.
• Fletcher - #661 - Fletcher is my favorite occupational name, and there's something satisfying about this name as a whole.
• Callum - #683 - Callum is a great alternative to names like Collin and Calvin, and is another overlooked Celtic name.
• Payton - #693 - I'm shocked Payton isn't much higher on this list, but that makes it much more usable for people who don't want the popularity attached to the name.
• Flynn - #694 - Flynn, like Livia to Olivia, is probably the easiest way to get the feel of Finn without the popularity.
• Alden - #720 - Alden is a wonderful alternative to Aiden in its many forms, and fits right in with the "-dan," "-den," "-don" names that are so popular right now.
• Ford - #741 - I adore Ford, and I think it's a great one-syllable name, as well as a cool alternative to presidential names like Lincoln and Reagan.
• Vance - #759 - Vance is yet another cool letter name, and is a fun spin on the classic Vince.
• Lachlan - #768 - Lachlan is similar to Mira in that it's a discreet nature name, both relating to bodies of water.
• Maxton - #807 - Maxton is a great alternative to many of the Max names like Maxwell and Maximilian.
• Thatcher - #902 - If you don't like Fletcher, Thatcher may be the next best thing. They both have the same style, but are distinctly different at the same time.
• Grey - #916 - Grey is the perfect alternative to Greyson, and is one of the few color names that suits boys.

I wish you all the best,
Erin

Sweet Spot: 5 Easy Kitchen Hacks & Tips

Hello friends! As many of you know, I'm always in the kitchen trying new recipes and figuring out how to make things work best for me. I've collected a few hacks and tips to share, and please let me know if you'd like to see more posts like this in the comments.

• Premade Crescent Rolls - These are a fridge staple at my house, and they're good for more than you may think. Some of our favorite uses are:
• Crescent Rings: You can look up Pillsbury's Taco Ring to get the specifics on how to make it, but we like to switch up the fillings, too. The taco version is great, and other popular variations include breakfast (scrambled eggs, crumbled turkey sausage, shredded cheese, green onion, etc.) and chicken pot pie (shredded chicken, cream of chicken soup, peas, carrots, etc.). We also like to use the reduced-fat crescents, just to make it a smidgen better for us.
• Nutella Croissants: These are ridiculously easy. Before you roll up the crescents as you normally would, spread Nutella all over the side that will be the inside, leaving the end (about 1/2 in.) plain so it sticks to itself. Bake as directed, and end up with either a decadent weekend breakfast or an impressive dessert that took you no time to make.
• Breakfast Pigs in Blankets: Similar to the Nutella croissants, just roll (or fold)your fillings into the crescents and bake. Some of our favorites are sausage links with cheese, turkey and pesto, and turkey pepperoni, mozzarella, and tomato sauce. These also make great snacks or appetizers.
• Leftover Barley Soup - This is the easiest soup I've ever made, and one of the tastiest ways to get rid of leftovers. Any time we have something like pot roast and veggies, Swiss steak, or roasted chicken or turkey, I make sure I pack up the leftovers. To make the soup, chop up the meat and any veggies, and throw them in a large pot with any gravy you may have. Add another 6-8 cups of liquid (either chicken stock, beef stock, or water) and 2 bay leaves, and bring to a boil. Add 2/3 cup of barley and simmer for 30 minutes, adding frozen veggies at the end if you like. Take out the bay leaves and enjoy!
• Easy Frosting - Personally, I hate it when traditional buttercream begins to harden and almost crust over as it sets. To solve that, I always make my frosting with 2 sticks of butter, 1 stick of shortening, a splash of vanilla, and 3 cups of powdered sugar. This frosting also takes really well to other flavors, so feel free to add coffee, reduced wine, salted caramel, any kind of nut or cookie butter, or just plain melted chocolate. All the flavor without the crust.
• Drying Herbs - Whether I'm picking herbs from my garden or buying a pack of herbs from the store, I always have more than I can use before they go bad. I like to dry anything that I don't want to waste by tying them in bundles with rubber bands or twine (inside paper bags for tiny herbs like thyme so the leave don't fall everywhere), and tie them to a coat hanger. I let them hang out until they're dry, them take the dried leaves off the stems for storing.
• Leftover Frittata - Another great way to get rid of leftovers is by making a frittata. At my house, we call this "Friday Dump Frittata," because we take a bunch of leftovers and dump them in a pan, then make a frittata out of them. To make a basic frittata, put your ingredients, seasonings, and 6 scrambled eggs in an oven-safe skillet and bake for 20-25 minutes at 350 degrees Fahrenheit until the eggs are set. Some of our favorites are:
• Buffalo Chicken: Shredded chicken, hot sauce, diced potatoes seasoned with ranch powdered dressing mix, green onion, and topped with cheese.
• Taco: Taco meat of any variety, green onion, bell peppers, diced potatoes, shredded cheese, and topped with your favorite taco toppings.
• Classic Breakfast: Crumbled sausage or bacon, peppers and onions, potatoes, cheese, topped with hot sauce.

I wish you all the best,
Erin