My first topic is Kairos, and my memories of Kairos have been brought back in full since my best friend came back from it this past weekend. For those of you who aren't familiar with Kairos, it's an overnight retreat that many Catholic schools and organizations have for teens and young adults, focused on strengthening their relationships with themselves, others, and their faith. I don't want this post to be too preachy, and I must stress that (at least the way my Catholic school did it) the faith side of things was not overwhelming. Yes, we talked about God at one point and we did go to mass, but nobody was there to convert anyone or preach to us. It was the greatest weekend of my life, and I am forever changed because of it.
If you're here to learn the "secrets" of Kairos, I won't be sharing them. I'm writing to share my experiences for the people who may be nervous about going, or deciding whether or not to go, or maybe who just want to learn what it's all about. I'm not sharing all the "secrets" to be mean, but because (if you've been on Kairos you know) the things you learn on Kairos are so life-changing that you want people to experience it for themselves; talking about it doesn't even begin to describe how wonderful it is.
The way my school does it, Kairos is a three-day, two-night retreat. This varies, but should always add up to four days. I left on a Friday morning, and came back Sunday night. Now I know I said it's supposed to add up to four days, but my school, instead of keeping us in that little bubble of wonderful for the fourth day, sends us out into the real world to "live the fourth." That means something different to everyone, but the basic idea is to live out what you learned on Kairos, which is easier said than done.
So on that Friday, I went to my first two classes, and then everyone going on that Kairos met in the chapel in the school. There, we met our roommates and our six leaders. {The six leaders run the retreat along with one lovely lady who has put 118 retreats together and two faculty/staff leaders. The three adults oversee everything, but it's the six leaders who run the show. They spend anywhere from a few weeks to several months planning out the whole retreat, from roommate pairings (always the most unlikely people paired up) to the witness talks they give. They're chosen because they emulate what Kairos is all about, and I haven't ever heard of anyone having a bad leader.} After a quick reflection to start our weekend of unknowns off on the right foot, we gathered our bags and boarded the buses. After that, my story gets pretty vague, as I can't give anything away. To say the least, we're all given notebooks to document the weekend, and somewhere on the covers are written the words "Doubt, Cry, Love, Live." {There's one word for each day of Kairos, and they are as accurate as could be. The idea is that you're doubtful about the whole process of Kairos the first day, you cry a ton on the second day, you feel the love the third day, and on the last day, you live the fourth.} The first things we write in the notebook are "trust the process," "you only get out what you put in," and "don't anticipate, just participate" as words to live by that weekend. As they said, I was definitely doubtful that first day. We got separated into small groups {essentially of strangers} that we were supposed to form this insanely tight bond with in three days, and I was so unsure of how that would work. But, as it turns out, it happened and I still love them to pieces a year later. And it all started that first day.
That Saturday, cry day, I did just that. This day is the one I can't really talk about, because so much happens this day; it's crazy how the dynamic of the whole retreat changes in just a few hours. It can be really scary to trust the process through everything that goes on, but it's so worth it. I did, and I couldn't be happier. There's also a ton of bonding this day, both as a whole retreat group and in the small groups. Again, so much changes this day. People are so moved by everything that happens in those few hours that the emotion just overtakes you, and that leads to a whole bunch of crying. {Let me also say that I went to an all-girls school, which didn't help the whole emotionally-charged sobbing thing. It was great.} By the time Saturday is over, you're on your way to being a totally changed person, definitely for the better.
Oh, Sunday, love day. Sunday was great. You truly do feel the love all around, and it's crazy. I still don't know how a group of strangers bonds so intensely and so genuinely, but it happens, and it happens fast. I actually cried more on Sunday than I did Saturday, simply because the love was so overwhelming. It was the best feeling ever, and I wish I could go back to it. There's a lot that happens before you go home on Sunday, and it's all so wonderful, but the best is still coming.
Live the fourth! We all went to school that Monday, exhausted as all get-out, but it was incredible. It was like that really warm, fuzzy feeling you get when it's cold outside but you're cozy in your bed, nowhere to be, just enjoying being there. We dubbed that feeling "Kai-high." It had been maybe twelve hours since we had been together, but you would've thought it had been weeks. It was the first time we were all together in the real world, realizing that, just because we weren't in our little love bubble, the love we have for each other can still go on, and it did. It still does.
So to close this long post up, I'd like to tell you what I learned:
- You are more loved than you'll ever know. People really do care about you, and those are the people to keep in your life.
- Surround yourself only with those who lift you higher.
- You are worth all the love you give others. Show yourself that same love. You'll thank yourself for it. It may be hard, but it's worth it.
Erin
No comments:
Post a Comment